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T O P I C R E V I E WPlutoSquaredDo you guys have double standards regarding sexual issues? Is it ok for you to do something, but not another? Or, do you feel it's ok for someone else, but never for you?How about the unspoken sexual ethics we have in our society? Do you feel sexual ethics are important? How so? Are these sexual ethics there for everyone? Or, should we just lump all "ethics" and disregard them all together?RandallA lot of guys are all about the double standards (oral comes to mind). Some girls are the same way. Most people are selfish by nature. Sex is reflective of other aspects in our lives. Most people are takers. Givers are in the minority. Can two takers last? Probably not for long. Is the ideal relationship between a taker and a giver? That's the most common dynamic--but how long does that last? Two givers might be perfection...or they might compete with each other and be unhappy...unless each can also learn to receive and sometimes graciously become a taker. ghanima81I think you're right, most people, by nature are selfish. I think when you find a person that you can be a little selfish with, but whom you also want to DO for, and they are in turn the same, that is quite ideal. We learn from each relationship and experience in our lives. Two takers (and I've been there) obviously cannot survive, Generally, two takers are young or simply niave in relationships and cannot really learn from each other so long as they perpetuate the selfish tendencies. I think you need to experience a giver, to know what it truly is to recieve, as you said Randall, graciously. This feeling makes you WANT to give back, thus you learn a new way to be, one that is much better for the psyche.I do know plenty of couples where one is clearly the dominant (and most are actually women) but there is a sadness in the giver's eyes, because although they give and give, they never get the appreciation they crave. I suppose it is their own fault really though, and eventually leave to find their own gracious giver, since they have learned what is is to "give til it hurts". NickiGif two givers compete...doesnt that make them selfish?------------------the better the chase, the better the rewardRandallI never looked at it that way. I will have to think about that, Nicki. What Ghani said.NickiGGhani or Ghandi? ------------------the better the chase, the better the rewardMoonWitchMy ex husband had multiple double standards. He wanted an open relationship where he would sleep with whomever he wanted whole I stayed home and remained faithful to him exclusively. Ami AnneRandall That was such a well thought out post about givers and takers. Your Pluto must have channeled it ------------------Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.PlutoSquaredMoonwitch,I'm glad you brought up this topic, because it's something I see more and more...Men who marry stable women, expect her to be the breadwinner, lavish them (the men) with attention and gifts, and in return they provide sexual favor... but the MEN ALSO... have many lovers on the side.This would be different than an "open relationship" in ways, because the Man EXPECTS that his "base wife" stays at home and does not have any other sexual relationships, except for him.The appearance of a traditional marriage is just the cherry on the top!charmainec
How about the unspoken sexual ethics we have in our society? Do you feel sexual ethics are important? How so? Are these sexual ethics there for everyone? Or, should we just lump all "ethics" and disregard them all together?
I do know plenty of couples where one is clearly the dominant (and most are actually women) but there is a sadness in the giver's eyes, because although they give and give, they never get the appreciation they crave. I suppose it is their own fault really though, and eventually leave to find their own gracious giver, since they have learned what is is to "give til it hurts".
------------------the better the chase, the better the reward
------------------Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
I'm glad you brought up this topic, because it's something I see more and more...
Men who marry stable women, expect her to be the breadwinner, lavish them (the men) with attention and gifts, and in return they provide sexual favor... but the MEN ALSO... have many lovers on the side.
This would be different than an "open relationship" in ways, because the Man EXPECTS that his "base wife" stays at home and does not have any other sexual relationships, except for him.
The appearance of a traditional marriage is just the cherry on the top!
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